Colour Changed

It’s only songs. Only lyrics, only words. Only beats, only tunes. It’s not anything but a song.

Not a song I created. Not a form by me, words chosen by me. A tempo by me, nor a feeling by me. It’s nothing that is mine.

It’s still there for me though. The songs still sing to me, tell me. Knock me back and forth and fill me with a melody driven feeling. It’s everything.

I sometimes wonder if you think of me;

like I think of you at night.

With my hand on my head staring at the ceiling wondering, thinking, dreaming.

I wonder if you think of me, when I think of you. Then maybe we would be closer somehow. I wonder if you know I love you. Loved you. Do and will.

Do you think of me?

Remember me?

I know you remember my name. My number.

You call me sometimes. And I don’t say much. I think you are disappointed, but it’s because I just want to hear you talk. Hear you breathe. I forget what I wanted to say to you.

I remember everything I wanted to say to you when you hang up and I go to bed. Just those moments when I’m thinking of you. Listening to that song. Just hanging on the night.

You call me less. I wonder if you know I stay up and don’t go out. Just so I never miss that ten minute phone call. Sometimes it’s less.

It’s always worth it.

Someone told me – When I met you.

“Don’t get your heart broken,”

I laughed then. We weren’t like that. And my heart still isn’t broken. And you could never break it. You could walk away and hate me – and it’d not ever break for you. I’d move on. Live on. Hope that you are okay.

You’ll be going to war. And I fear that during the duration of time you were away training that you lost who you were. Or gained who you are. I don’t know you yet again. I’m lost in a phone call. I just hope I get to know you before I lose you in what could happen.

And I just wonder if you think of me. Feel the spark when you do.

The spark, I think, the songs tell me, we’ll always have.