Traumatic Bonding

March 21, 08

Shatter, me
With glass you threw,
Filled with wine,
Against the wall

I don't know,
Why,
I try,
When I'm already broken.
Snapped,
In half,
Can't fix what's (already) broken.

I try to understand,
I do,
But my,
Perspective, is different.
I see,
I close,
My eyes; I don't like to dream,
Of dead,
Bodies.

Shatter, me
With glass you threw,
Filled with wine,
Against the wall

I don't know,
Why,
I always come back to you,
I love
I hate
Just as much and equally,
Hate
What you do,
I hate the blood that spills

But I will always love,
The wine,
Against,
The wall.

*

Traumatic bonding, a term sometimes applied to battered women who seem unduly devoted to their abusive partners.
- http://www.encyclopedia.com/doc/1G1-166350569.html

The concept of Traumatic Bonding has also been developed to explain the dynamics of domestic violence relationships. Essentially, strong emotional connections develop between the victim and the perpetrator during the abusive relationship. These emotional ties develop due to the imbalance of power between the batterer and the victim and because the treatment is intermittently good and bad. In terms of the power imbalance, as the abuser gains more power, the abused individual feels worse about him- or herself, is less able to protect him- or herself, and is less competent. The abused person therefore becomes increasingly dependent on the abuser. The second key factor in traumatic bonding is the intermittent and unpredictable abuse. While this may sound counterintuitive, the abuse is offset by an increase in positive behaviors such as attention, gifts, and promises. The abused individual also feels relief that the abuse has ended. Thus, there is intermittent reinforcement for the behavior, which is difficult to extinguish and serves instead to strengthen the bond between the abuser and the individual being abused.
-http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdocs/fact_shts/fs_domestic_violence.html